Part 6: Certificate

They’re already a long time couple now, but today, MoZhaHim suddenly remembers a suspicious point, “KO, how did you find out about my new home address at first?”

He even brought vegetables and other food ingredients up to his door early morning.

KO answers calmly, “I looked it up from the housing registration database.”

MoZhaHim, “……Can you not say it like, ‘I just went to search it up on Baidu,’ that kind of tone?…..” (Baidu: popular Chinese search engine)

In the middle of the night, MoZhaHim suddenly wakes up from his sleep and sits up on the bed.  He pants heavily, and KO is also woken up by the disturbance.  He sits up as well and embraces MoZhaHim while patting his back gently, “What’s wrong?”

“I had a nightmare,” MoZhaHim says wiping his sweat, “I dreamt that you hacked into the housing management bureau and changed the registration name to yours.  This is too scary.”

This is definitely a nightmare!  If KO is the one who owns the apartment, wouldn’t that mean he is living off of him?!  As a real man, would he have any dignity left?!

“Good thing that it was just a dream.” Read more

Part 5: Mr. Homemaker’s Tactics (outline of events)

Ever since KO moved into MoZhaHim’s place, he has been studying the weather every day.  After N days later, he has finally decided that today is the day.

Today’s weather: sunny in the morning, rain and thunderstorm in the afternoon.

Tomorrow’s weather: cloudy and then scattered showers.

The day after tomorrow: cloudy and scattered showers.

Not recommended for hanging clothes out to dry.

KO draws a circle on the calendar.  In early morning, he takes his duvet cover, bed sheets, and pillow out to the balcony.  When MoZhaHim walks to the balcony in his briefs to fetch his shirt (for the sake of good food, he gave the room with the balcony to KO), he is startled by all the things that are spread over the balcony.

“You’re putting your sheets out for the sun?”

KO walks past him staring straight, and then comments, “The weather is nice today.” Read more

Part 4: Eating Meat Pie

Both MoK had to work overtime tonight, so it’s already after 8pm when they got home.  They pass by a stuffed meat pie stall on their way, and MoZhaHim’s eyes sparkle, “KO, let’s buy two meat pies for a late night snack.  The meat pies here are delicious.  There are usually over twenty people lining up, but there aren’t as many today.”

KO doesn’t have any opinion.

Although there aren’t many people, there are still over ten of them in line.  It’s finally their turn after waiting ten minutes, but there’s only one meat pie left.  The stall owner lady says apologetically, “Sorry gentlemen, there is only one left, and I don’t have any more ingredients to make another one.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”  Although feeling a little upset, there’s nothing that they can do.  MoZhaHim takes out his wallet and pays, and takes the paper bag.  Just as he is about to tell KO to eat it, KO has already grabbed the paper bag from him.  He holds the pie, takes a bite, carefully chews on it, and then takes another bite, and another, until he finishes the whole thing.  He doesn’t save a single bite for MoZhaHim.

MoZhaHim is dumbstruck.  He was planning to give it to KO to eat it anyway since he has tasted it before, but giving it to KO willingly versus KO grabbing it from him is a big difference. Read more

Part 3: A Day At The Supermarket

Today, MoZhaHim and KO are at the supermarket when a voluptuous woman passes them with a breeze of fragrance.  MoZhaHim’s gaze follows her and the gorgeous woman actually smiles back.

MoZhaHim truly enjoyed the moment, so he can’t help but turn his head to take a few more glances at her.  KO says impassively, “Stop looking.  I’m better than her.”

MoZhaHim says with disgust, “Which part of you is better than her?  Just look at the shape of her body!”

“I’m better.”

“Holy, in what way?”

KO says casually, “Last night, you said it was too big.”

MoZhaHim almost thought he heard wrong.  When he finally registers what KO has just said, he says angrily, “Get lost!  When have I ever said that?”

KO glances at him.

Okay……alright, he really did say it, but……MoZhaHim scoffs, “Was that a compliment on your body figure?”

“It’s the most important part of the body.”

“……!!!” MoZhaHim is lost without words, so he could only fight to deny it, “I never said anything.”

“You didn’t say it, you screamed.”

“…..You, you, you!  If I said I didn’t, I didn’t!”

“Okay, let’s do it again tonight.”

MoZhaHim’s ears are completely red, yet he pretends it’s nothing by looking left and right.  He sees another pretty woman walk by.  Just to make a certain person mad, he purposely takes a few glances at the woman and even murmurs a few compliments.

“Not bad, not bad.  You can tell she’s the smart type.  Focusing only on someone’s body is too shallow.  Inner qualities are more important.”

KO also takes a look and comments, “The vegetables she’s buying are over-ripe.  She doesn’t know how to cook.”

“Her fingernails are too long.  She doesn’t use the computer much, so she can’t play online games with you, or help you hack into your favorite female celeb’s computer to download their personal photos.”

Did I ask you to go hack their computers?  Did I?  I only said that she was pretty and then you went and did it yourself.  Furthermore, they were all photos of her without makeup and no photoshop, shattering my image of her……

“Her waist is too small, and she’s too skinny.  She doesn’t have the strength to help you rub your back or carry a bag of rice.”

Waist?!  MoZhaHim is outraged, “Where are your eyes looking to?!  Who let you look into such detail!  Get your eyes back here right now!”

KO, “……”

Part 2: A Thing or Two That Happened With The Great Master and Wei Wei

Time: MoK have just started living together, and before they have gone a step further.

One day, MoZhaHim says to Wei Wei secretly, “Junior classmate, I finally found out how much KO’s salary is.”

Wei Wei asks full of curiosity, “How much?”

MoZhaHim answers angrily, “Damn it!  It’s more than me.”

Wei Wei stares at him in silence, thinking that isn’t it normal?

MoZhaHim feels insulted, “Why are you staring at me like that?!”

Wei Wei clears her throat, “Haha, no, nothing.  Oh right, Senior, how did you find out what his salary is?”

MoZhaHim explains proudly, “He wanted to pay me rent, sigh, I already told him he didn’t have to.  Am I, Big Brother Mei, someone who fusses over such little things?  But he insisted on paying rent, as well as food expenses and other things, so he left me with his bank card, hahaha.”

A certain someone is getting carried away and laughs at Wei Wei, “Junior classmate, all your internship payout is still with Third Brother, isn’t it?”

“……” Wei Wei turns her head to him, “Oh Senior~~ Is it really something to be proud of for a man to keep another man’s bank card safe?”

MoZhaHim freezes.

Wei Wei drifts away.


Time: Not long after living together.

A strange thing about Zhi Yi’s office is that there is no reception counter.  There used to be one, but because the poor reception boy’s spot is always occupied by others, it gradually became an administrative and reception counter.

Who has been taking over the spot?  Zhi Yi’s programmers.  This bad habit was started by MoZhaHim and the others.  Every time he has a hard time writing a program and is stuck, he likes going to the front counter and stand in different poses to find his inspiration.  This eventually spread to the others, so when the whole team comes to a bottleneck, the front counter will be surrounded by a number of handsome men……making it quite a view.

Wei Wei has come to visit Xiao Nai, and she spots MoZhaHim at standing at the front counter again.  She says in surprise, “Senior, you’ve gained weight!”

“……” MoZhaHim shakes his head feeling depressed, “This is what happens when you live off of someone.”

Eh?  Wei Wei sweats, “Senior, didn’t you just move into a new apartment?  Who are you living off of?”

MoZhaHim explains dispiritedly, “I am living off of someone in my own apartment.”

Wei Wei compliments in admiration, “Senior, you’re able to pull off something so difficult?  You are incredible!”

MoZhaHim thinks deeply, “It really does seem like so.  I’m provided with food, drinks, and even his bank card.  Mm.”

Wei Wei is also caught in her own thoughts.  She says uncertainly after a long while, “Senior, I’ve also given my bank card to the Great Master, so does it count as the Great Master living off of me?”


Time: after MoK have slept together a few times.

One day, MoZhaHim complains to Wei Wei, “Third Brother is going too far.  Hurry and go tell him to stop giving so many things to KO to do.  Holy, he almost doesn’t even have time to cook dinner for me.”

Wei Wei answers, “Huh?  Oh, okay.”

Therefore, when Wei Wei goes on a date with Xiao Nai, she tells him about what MoZhaHim said.  But she feels weird afterward, “Eh, it’s so weird……Why isn’t KO telling you this himself, yet it’s Senior Beauty who told me instead?”

Xiao Nai says as a matter of fact, “That’s very normal.  This is the so-called socializing between wives.”

Wei Wei, “……”

A Beauty’s Smile is Also Charming (BL)

Characters:

MoZhaHim (DontHitHim): Real name is Hao Mei.  Due to its pronunciation sounding like “Very Beautiful,” his nicknames are Senior Beauty and Beautiful Senior.  He is Xiao Nai’s roommate, a member of the Computer Science basketball team, an employee of Zhi Yi Technology, and one of the top masters of programming.

KO: His real name is unknown.  He is a well-known hacker who is currently an employee at Zhi Yi.  He is also one of the top masters of programming.

YuGongClimbsAMountain: His real name is Yu Ben Shan.  He is Xiao Nai’s roommate, a member of the Computer Science basketball team, and an employee of Zhi Yi.

Bei Wei Wei: She is Great Master Xiao Nai’s wife, and a top beauty of University A.  Her favorite game is “Dream Voyage in Rivers and Lakes.”

Xiao Nai:  He is Wei Wei’s husband, one of the most handsome guys of University A, and is a genius in all areas.  During his University years, he started his own company called, “Zhi Yi Technology (Devoted Technology),” and collaborated with Feng Teng corporation to create “Dream Voyage in Rivers and Lakes 2.”  His nickname is Third Brother.

Part 1: Living Together

YuGong has been living in the same dorm room with MoZhaHim for four years, and it’s not until today that he found out that he’s actually rich.

It all starts when YuGong goes to MoZhaHim’s office looking for some snacks.  MoZhaHim is in the middle of something, so he says, “There are cookies in the drawer.  Go help yourself.”

When YuGong opens the drawer, he doesn’t find any cookies, but instead, he sees a home buying contract laying on the very top.  YuGong eyes almost pop out; he takes it out and gasps.  Holy!  There are actually two!  The top one is for a newly built home, about 180 square meters duplex, and the closing date is a year after.  The second contract is a resale home with furniture included, about 100 square meters, has two bedrooms, a dining and a living room, in a good location, and has luxurious decor.

These two homes add up close to ten million RMB, yet they are paid in full.  The buyer’s signature at the very bottom is no other than MoZhaHim——Hao Mei.

Maybe because YuGong’s expression is too dramatic, so it attracts other staff members who are passing by.  Therefore, one of them comes over and takes a peek.  Whoa!  That person is also in shock too.

As a result, all single men at the company are thunderstruck; MoZhaHim immediately becomes the most hated person at the company.  YuGong shakes MoZhaHim’s body full of heartache, “Big Brother Mei, why?  Why didn’t you bring me along when you robbed the bank?!”

All their other colleagues are also upset, “Beautiful Brother Mei, do you have any spare change from your lotto winnings?  Buy us an apartment too, will you?”

“Beautiful Brother Mei, what is a wealthy man like you doing with a group of broke people like us?!”

YuGong is beginning to feel furious, “Yet you pretended to be poor during our days in University.  You even asked to borrow fifty dollars from me several times!”

“You think I really wanted to?  I’m also very poor!” MoZhaHim is getting dizzy from YuGong shaking him, so he struggles away from him, “I secretly applied for University A’s computer science department and didn’t apply for the University Z’s business program that my old dad wanted me to.  My old dad only gave me six hundred dollars to cover living expenses.  Shit!  I even regretted it.  If I knew Beijing had dust storms and Third Brother, I wouldn’t have bothered coming!”

Xiao Nai was going to dismiss the crowd before he heard himself being compared to dust storms.  Therefore, he stops his footsteps, leans on the wall, takes out his cell phone and starts broadcasting the event live to Wei Wei.

MoZhaHim is now being cornered by the worked up crowd, so he screams, “Stop pushing me!  I’ll treat you guys to dinner!  I’ll treat you guys to dinner!”

After work, Big Brother Mei carries his little wallet full of resentment as he brings everyone to a seafood restaurant.  Other than Xiao Nai not coming, everyone else is here, making them a very large group.  When they start eating, MoZhaHim explains honestly, “You know my mom and dad came last week, right?  I didn’t want to go back to my hometown, so they bought me an apartment as a gift for marriage before they left.”

It would have been better if he didn’t explain.  Now that he has, the anger that has been dispersed from eating seafood has risen again.

“Hell!  Why are you buying two then?  Are you planning to marry two women!?”

MoZhaHim -_-|||

Seeing that he is about to be beaten up by the crowd, MoZhaHim quickly comes up with a scheming plan for them to fight over themselves.  He pretends that he has just thought of something, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  I have a spare room at my current apartment, would any of you like to live in it?  I won’t charge rent.”

After recovering from the shock, everyone immediately shouts, “ME!!!”

Their voices are so loud that it almost shook the oyster out of MoZhaHim’s chopsticks, “The room is a bit small, so it’ll only fit one of you.  If you all……”

He pretends to give them a troubled look.

MonkeyWine, who’s also here to eat a free dinner after hearing the news, grabs MoZhaHim’s hand and says, “Brother, we’ve been roommates for four years.  You can’t dump me now.”

YuGong shoves him away, “Get lost!  You’re a graduate student who can live at the dorm.  I’ve even bathed with Big Brother Mei before.  Can you even compare?!”

Co-worker A says, “YuGong, you should think carefully.  When you have a girlfriend in the future, and you bring her back home, man!  Wouldn’t she get win over by Big Brother Mei’s apartment?”

YuGong says shamelessly, “That’s even better.  My wife and I will tie ourselves to Big Brother Mei for life.”

Everyone is struck dumb, “You’ve got quite the nerve!”

Someone from the art department says mockingly, “Just look at this messy relationship!  Beautiful Brother Mei, how many times have you cheated on KO?”

Thinking about Beautiful Brother Mei and KO’s relationship as a “married” couple, everybody turns to look at KO in unison, but only sees him sitting in the corner quietly cracking his crab’s shell without lifting his eyes up to look at them.

MoZhaHim clears his throat to bring everyone’s attention back to him, “Anyhow, we’re all brothers, so I’ll feel bad no matter whom I let to live in the apartment~~~sigh, why don’t you guys discuss among yourselves and just let me know your final decision.”

Everybody’s gaze immediately leaves KO to fight for the apartment.  Instead of the crowd attacking MoZhaHim, they are now attacking each other, thus, MoZhaHim is delighted and takes the opportunity to gulp down the table of food.

They finish dinner amid all the nonsense.  When it’s time to pay, the waitress stands beside MoZhaHim and smiles, “Thank you for coming, it comes to……dollars.”

Everybody is in shock, “That expensive?!”

Seafood is expensive without a doubt, but they didn’t think it would be this expensive.  MoZhaHim was the one who brought them here, so they didn’t know the price range for the food at this place.

While everyone is donning an expression of regret, MoZhaHim casually swipes his credit card, signs his signature, and sighs, “I’ve been keeping a low profile for too long.  Old man here has already forgotten the feeling of spending money lavishly.”

The feeling of regret disappears right away as everyone is struck dumb by his statement.  Of course, there are exceptions; a male colleague stares at Beautiful Brother Mei with heart-shaped eyes, “So generous!  That card-swiping pose!  That’s not Big Brother Mei, that’s Prince Mei!”

After their seafood meal, Prince Mei brings them to karaoke.  They enjoy themselves until midnight before leaving.


It’s Saturday the next day.  MoZhaHim originally planned to sleep until noon, but who knew that someone would ring his doorbell at 9am.  MoZhaHim grumbles and drags his footsteps to open the door.  Who could it be?  Security?  His neighbour?  But he just moved in and no one knows that he’s here.

Once he opens the door, the person he sees standing behind it is actually——

KO?

“KO?” MoZhaHim asks in surprise, “What are you doing here?”

KO raises his right arm expressionlessly to show two bags full of stuff, “I’m here to use the backdoor.”

“Huh?” MoZhaHim stares blankly at the fish tail that is poking out of the bag.  KO walks pass him, goes directly to the kitchen, takes a look around and comes out again.

“You don’t have anything in your kitchen.”

“Big Brother, I just moved in a couple of days ago.”

KO walks to the living room without a word.  He turns on the computer, opens Word, and starts typing.  After a while, he prints out a sheet of paper.

KO gives it to MoZhaHim, “Go get changed.  Go to the supermarket and buy the things listed on this sheet.”

MoZhaHim looks down and reads the items on the piece of paper——a wok, a saucepan, a rice cooker, a clay pot, a spatula, an oven, a microwave, an electric baking pan, soy sauce, chicken powder……etcetera, etcetera.

MoZhaHim swallows, raises head, and looks at KO as if he’s an alien from outer space.

“You know how to cook?”

KO says confidently, “A master chef.”

MoZhaHim is in awe.

“I go?”

KO nods.

“What about you?”

“Wash the vegetables.”

“Oh, okay,” MoZhaHim stares at the list in silence for a while and then asks, “What is an electric baking pan?  What shape do I buy for a spatula?  Do I buy a wooden one, a metal one, or a stainless steel one?”

“……” KO decides, “I’ll go with you.”

Therefore, MoZhaHim carries his little wallet and heads to the supermarket with KO.  Buying things is a breeze with KO beside him, so they end up requesting for delivery.

After everything has been delivered.

“The cooking and eating utensils need to be washed before use, so dinner will take a bit longer today,” KO glances at his wristwatch, “I’m going to play online.  It’ll be ready in two hours.”

MoZhaHim decides to take a nap instead as he watches KO’s back disappear into the kitchen.  Maybe KO will be gone when he wakes up again; and this is all a dream.

Although it feels like he’s dreaming, when two hours have passed, MoZhaHim shows up at the dining table and is drooling over the cooked dishes that seem to have magically appeared.

Fish in fiery sauce, stir fried horsehair crab with rice cakes, steamed chicken wings in salted egg yolk sauce, stir fried green peppers with shredded potatoes, and fried eggplant pockets……they are all his favorite dishes!  MoZhaHim is about to pounce for the food without any dignity when KO comes out wearing an apron holding two bowls of rice and says, “Wash your hands.”

MoZhaHim leaves reluctantly to go wash his hands.  He rinses them quickly and comes back.  He takes a seat at the table and has already gobbled down two wings in a blink of an eye.  KO asks, “Is it good?”

“Goad!  Thay’re quite goad!” MoZhaHim mumbles with his mouth full.  He reaches for half a horsehair crab, “KO, you’re too virtuous.  I can’t believe you know how to cook.”

“Before working at the company, I worked as a cook.”

MoZhaHim freezes in the middle of biting a piece of the crab leg and looks at him puzzled.

A cook?  He suddenly remembers that the person in front of him was once a top hacker.  Does this mean that he was a cook during the day and a hacker at night?!

Does he have to be so legendary?!

MoZhaHim’s once almighty self-pride has been hurt seriously again ever since meeting Xiao Nai, “Wh-Which university did you graduate from?”

Damn it!  He has no choice but to find his self-pride back in the education area.  There can’t be another University that is rated higher than University A.

“Nine years of compulsory education.”

Huh?

KO glances at MoZhaHim’s confused expression and says calmly, “When I was fourteen, there was nobody left in the family.  I didn’t have money, so I couldn’t continue school.”

MoZhaHim feels bad for asking something that he shouldn’t have.  He wants to console him, but he’s really not good at it, so he says sincerely, “You’re very good now.  You’re even better than the rest of us who have graduated from brand named universities.  Although you’ve lost to Third Brother before, it’s definitely not because you don’t have the skills to beat him, it’s because you’ve got a better character ==”

KO looks at him in silence for a while and then says, “I know.”

MoZhaHim==is dumbstruck.  Seriously, I’m just being nice, so there’s really no need for you to be all serious about it!

Half an hour later, all the dishes are empty.  MoZhaHim caresses his big full stomach leaning on the back of the chair.  He burps in satisfaction.

“I’ve decided to live here,” says KO who is sitting across the table.

“Huh? Buuuuuurp~~~” MoZhaHim’s concentration is on his stomach, so his brain clearly doesn’t know how to react.

“I’ll cook.”

“……”

“I’ll wash the dishes.”

“……”

“I’ll mop the floor.”

“……”

“I’ll do the laundry.”

“……”

“I’ll do anything.”

KO glances at a certain someone who is in a daze, and then asks purposely, “Do you want me to live here?”

MoZhaHim cries, “Yes.”

The first round of negotiation ends!  KO nods and goes to the kitchen to wash the dishes.


Not long later on one night, MoZhaHim is pressed down on his bed, stripped naked, and is devoured by someone.  When he scorns while rubbing his bottom afterwards, Brother KO inhales his cigarette calmly and says, “I told you the first day I came, and you didn’t object to it.”

MoZhaHim says angrily, “When did you say it?!”

KO asks, “Do you remember the first thing I said that day?”

“Who the hell would remember……” although he denies it, as a top student of University A, his brain is not just for show, so when MoZhaHim quickly recalls what happened that day, he remembers.

He remembers when he opened the door, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

KO………

seems to have answered, “I’m here to use the backdoor.”

Holy!!!

“You remember now?” KO stubs the cigarette into the ashtray by his bedside, “I said it again afterwards.”

MoZhaHim really can’t recall another time, “When did you say it again?”

“I said~ cooking, mopping, laundry……I’ll do anything,” KO says slowly while staring at him with his eyes that seem like they are burning with black flames.

MoZhaHim’s body is stiff from his stare, and he immediately become outraged, “What’s wrong with that sentence?!!!”

KO, whose expression is completely the opposite of his, says serenely, “I’ll do anything, including you.”

“……”

MoZhaHim tightens his bottom and his face is full of tears.

Side Story 2: Ranking of the Great Master’s Dorm

Only after dating for the first time in his life does Xiao Nai get to know that, if you get a girlfriend, you must treat her roommates to a meal. Of course, he’s very happy to treat them. Moreover, after he has treated them, he even comes up with the idea that he should treat his own roommates. As a result, YuGong and the others have a chance to eat and drink for free. As a result, Student Wei Wei meets the real YuGong and the others for the first time… Read more

Side Story 1: University A’s Beauty Ranking

It’s the night before graduation, and Xiao Nai is staying overnight at the school.

They’ll be bidding farewell to school and joining the workforce the next morning, so everyone at the dorm is feeling emotional and restless.  Therefore, YuGong drags two friends over to make up the headcount for playing a table of mahjong as well as a table for leveling up (gaming).  There are beer and snacks available while they play and chat together. Read more

Part 48: Ending

It’s another year in June.

The summer seems to have come a lot sooner this year.  It was already starting to feel warm in May, and now it feels like a hot summer in June.  Er Xi, who’s helping Wei Wei to carry her bamboo mat (cool mat), thumps her footsteps up the stairs while complaining, “Wei Wei, isn’t this supposed to be a high end condo?  How can the elevators be out of service?”

“What high end?  More like high priced,” Wei Wei is also out of energy; she is carrying even more stuff than Er Xi.  She’s holding two bags full of stuff in her hands and two pillows under her arms. Read more

Part 47: The Never Setting Sun

Wei Wei didn’t think she would see RealWaterIsScentless again; and at University A, her own school, to add to that.

The day when Wei Wei went to the library to return some books, she bumped into a few of her male classmates; they greeted each other by nodding, and that was when she saw RealWaterIsScentless standing beside one of her classmates in shock.

Wei Wei also nodded towards him, and walked passed him.

She could hear her classmates talking behind her, “Did you see?  We also have pretty girls at University A.  She is our department’s number one beauty.  Not bad compared to your school’s top beauty, right?…..”

Read more