Part 11: Video
If it weren’t for StormGoddessNiNi’s (StormGoddessGirl’s) bombshell of a message, Wei Wei would simply think that she is standing at the end of time.
Of course, the so-called end of time is —- lights out in the dormitory >o<
StormGoddessNiNi: “WeiWei, send me the video. Send me the video.”
Wei Wei: “What video?”
StormGoddessNiNi: “The one of your husband beating up RealWater single-handedly, the video of the duel! Even though I bought a ticket to go see it, the audience wasn’t allowed to record it.”
Single-handedly beating up…Wei Wei is embarrassed by her description: “Our (family’s) NaiHe is very refined…”
As soon as she types out this sentence, Wei Wei becomes embarrassed by her own doing. Why did she add “our” in front of NaiHe?!!! How come she subconsciously typed out that word?
>o<, it must be due to the influence of YuGong and them. They often thrown in words like “Our (family’s) third sister-in-law”, “Your (family’s) NaiHe.” Wei Wei speechlessly deletes the sentence and types up a new sentence: “You actually bought an admissions ticket!”
Buying an admissions ticket to see a duel is one of the twisted features of “Dream Voyage in Rivers and Lakes.” After purchasing an admissions ticket and clicking on the bodyguard in front of the gates of the imperial palace, the player will be sent to the battlefield. Generally speaking, the higher the levels of the two opponents, the more expensive the admissions ticket. Of course, people don’t go and see every duel.
StormGoddessNiNi: “RealWater was defeated so badly, even if he did record it, he wouldn’t put it out. Your husband must have recorded it.”
Wei Wei: “…he didn’t record it.”
She doesn’t even have to ask this question. With her understanding of the Great Master, the Great Master would never record such an insignificant battle.
StormGoddessNiNi: “Darn it, it was so intense that I forgot to take screenshots while watching. Hell, hell, I want to drop dead. Also, I came on too late and only saw the duel announcement made by the system bot. I didn’t even see the actual legendary battle invitation. So much regret.”
Wei Wei: “That’s better than me. I’m the female lead in the legend, and I didn’t even see anything.”
StormGoddessNiNi: “Hahaha, then I’m at peace. Do you want the screenshot of the system bot announcement? I’ll send it to you.”
Wei Wei: “Okay.”
Wei Wei sends her “Dream Voyage” email address to her and, soon, she receives her email. The email contains just one picture, the system bot duel announcement.
Wei Wei clicks on the picture to enlarge it. The first line is the system bot’s announcement after NaiHe’s battle invitation. Then, every five minutes after, the system bot announces the response by the invitee.
[System Bot]: ASmileNaiHei (WhyNotJustSmile) invites RealWaterIsScentless to duel at the Top of the Forbidden City.
[System Bot]: RealWaterIsScentless has yet to accept the challenge.
[System Bot]: RealWaterIsScentless has yet to accept the challenge.
After five of these, [System Bot]: RealWaterIsScentless accepts the challenge.
[System Bot]: The duel of ASmileNaiHe and RealWaterIsScentless will commence at 20:00 o’clock at the Top of the Forbidden City.
Those are just a few lines of text, just cold and formal announcements, yet Wei Wei reads them over and over again. Reading and reading and reading and reading. She gradually starts feeling a bit angry.
She is unable to hold back the moodiness inside. Looking at the lightly floating white robe of NaiHe, Wei Wei hesitates again and again, feeling embarrassed, and then opens her mouth to break the mood, “Great Master…PK with me once without bringing your spirit animal >o<”
NaiHe, however, misunderstands her and thinks that she is bored. He starts a party and says: “Let’s go and kill a boss.”
“Mengdongxing. YuGong is calling us over.”
MonkeyWine and the others have had great luck today. They were just meditating at the bottom of the mountain when, unexpectedly, the Boss Meng, that can only be found after some difficulty, brought himself to the door carrying a dowry.
When Wei Wei and NaiHe return to Verdant Mountain, MonkeyWine and the others are already in battle. NaiHe goes up and casts a Miracle Cure to give them health. Wei Wei, however, hesitates for a moment and doesn’t immediately join in the battle.
YuGong calls out: “Sister-in-law, don’t just watch while others are dying.”
Wei Wei knows that the three of them can actually handle it with ease. She’s being called over so that she can gain experience. Thus, she sends a smiley face, saying: “You guys fight. If I join, his attacks will immediately become stronger.”
In this regard, Boss Meng is quite clever. If female players attack him, then he will reduce his attack power by half because of “being kind to women.” That’s how Wei Wei was able to single-handedly take him down before. And if male and female players attack him together, then his attack power will increase by half due to “jealousy.” Only when male players take him on will his strength stay normal.
YuGong and the others have mainly been in completely male parties and have never seen this happen before. When hearing about this from Wei Wei, they become more interested instead.
“I hear this guy will even take liberties with female players. I haven’t seen it before. Sister-in-law, take a slash with your sword and let us witness this.”
When Wei Wei hears this, she is completely speechless. Nevertheless, she still complies and joins the battle. Sure enough, as soon as her sword goes down, Boss Meng’s attack power clearly goes up and even uses his “Raging Fire of Envy” skill, burning MonkeyWine and them so that their health continuously drops.
At the same time, above Boss Meng’s head pops up some words: “What’s a beauty doing out here walking the rivers and lakes, waving and dancing with swords, instead of staying in her chambers. Why not let me (arrogant) take charge of your fragrant food and spicy drinks.”
MonkeyWine: “WTF! He really is taking liberties with women.”
YuGongClimbsAMountain: “He actually dares to take liberties with sister-in-law, finish him!”
As a result, the poor Boss Meng is violently finished off…
As soon as Boss Meng falls to the floor, the imperial guards immediately appear and take him away, leaving behind the princess’ makeup box as reward. MonkeyWine is curious and scrambles to pick it up. He opens it to look and nearly falls to the ground.
YuGong questions: “What is it? Give it to sister-in-law if it’s equipment.”
MonkeyWine: “If I give this to sister-in-law, NaiHe will kill me.”
NaiHe: “What is it?”
MonkeyWine: “A man’s hair.”
MonkeyWine: “The hair of the princess’ lover. Has no attributes.”
Everyone is speechless. They never expected to chance upon such a thing themselves.
YuGongClimbsAMountain: “At least it’s better than Dongfang Bubai’s sword.”
MoneyWine: “It’s also better than the cloth used to bind the feet of the old lady of Emei.”
MoZhaHim (Don’tHitHim) tries to review: “Can it be that we were too violent just now?”
Noticing that Wei Wei hasn’t said anything yet, MonkeyWine says: “Sister-in-law didn’t get blown away did she?”
Wei Wei: “>o< No, I’ve been voyaging through the rivers and lakes for so many years, I no longer care about fame and fortune…”
MoZhaHim: “Why do I feel like her tone is quite familiar?”
MonkeyWine: “Like NaiHe’s?”
MoZhaHim: “No, NaiHe never talks about his narcissism, he only thinks it on the inside.”
NaiHe sends a sighing emoticon: “One takes after one’s surroundings. I’ll have to not allow her to hang around you guys anymore in the future.”
Wei Wei: “That’s right. It is you guys who have influenced me…Oh, that thing, I was just thinking about the video stuff.”
Wei Wei: “I want to make a video too.”
Wei Wei: “Boss Meng gave me inspiration….”
Since it is inspired by Boss Meng, then of course it has to do with thievery.
Wei Wei’s script is like this.
ReedWeiWei (HumbleReed) is a female thief who lords over the mountains.
ASmileNaiHe (WhyNotJustSmile) is a weak literary musician.
One day, ASmileNaiHe passes by some mountain and catches the eye of the female thief. Thus, he is snatched into a mountain stronghold and forced to be a husband.
“I haven’t thought of what happens next. I just thought of this while fighting Boss Meng. We can directly use Boss Meng’s lines.”
MonkeyWine says: “Is it also to enter into that event?”
Wei Wei: “Uh-huh, I suddenly felt that it will be really fun. I only wanted to play around, I just got carried away on a whim.”
NaiHe doesn’t say anything, just going over what Wei Wei said: “Forced husband.”
Wei Wei believes he is upset and is just about to say that it’s all right if they don’t film anything when she sees him ask: “Does that mean when the robbery happens, all I have to do is lie down on the ground.”
Looks like she severely underestimates the Great Master’s nerves. Wei Wei: “Pretty much like that.”
Actually, she isn’t too sure herself. It was just a foolish thought.
However, NaiHei says: “Let’s film it.”
NaiHe: “Verdant Mountain isn’t bad. Have the robbery here.”
The Great Master agreeing and settling it so quickly, and then putting it into action so rapidly, causes the female thief, Wei Wei, to suddenly feel like she’s the one being forced to commit a robbery.
In the blink of an eye, the Great Master has already started setting up the overall plan: “I’ll come down from this side of the mountain. You’ll ride out from the forest over there. We’ll each record our own parts and edit it later.”
Under NaiHe’s director baton, Wei Wei light-headedly gets on a horse.
YuGong jumps out, “Director, we also want to be in the play.”
MonkeyWine says: “How can the female thief not have henchmen. We’ll be sister-in-law’s henchmen.”
Wei Wei refuses: “Don’t want.”
MonkeyWine grieves, heart-broken: “Why not!”
Wei Wei: “>_< It’ll seem more awesome single handedly.”
YuGong says: “No. No. You guys can’t be like this. There must be a fighting scene. How about we be NaiHe’s bodyguards? Then, sister-in-law, you can defeat the three of us one by one. This way it will be exciting.”
This proposal of YuGong’s finally gets the approval from everyone; most importantly, NaiHe’s approval. These few people are all action oriented. With extreme efficiency, everything is discussed. Instead, it is the one who suggest the filming, Wei Wei, who becomes confused. The one who drove the ducks onto the bridge ends up being chased away to the woods.
In the forest, while riding on the horse, Wei Wei suddenly becomes nervous.
When NaiHe walks up to the point where the robbery is to happen, she becomes even more nervous.
The result of being nervous is Wei Wei charging out, charges in front of NaiHe, but forgets the vulgar lines of Boss Meng >_<. Thus, Wei Wei has to be quick witted and is only able to alter the most ancient of robbery lines.
“The mountain paths are opened by me,
the trees are planted by me,
if you want to pass through,
leave the man behind!” *
After the opening lines, YuGong is supposed to jump out and swear at her, and then they start fighting. However, YuGong’s character doesn’t move at all. Wei Wei waits for a long time before being baffled and asking, “Where’s YuGong?”
MonkeyWine very serenely says, “He fell down from his chair.”
* The lines are from the “Romance of Sui and Tang Dynasties” written way back in the Qing dynasty. The last part of the original is “leave the money behind.”