Memory Lost (美人为馅): Chapter 88 10

Chapter 88: My Sorrow Part 2

The winds are strong in late autumn of Beijing.  The sky is also gloomy.

The Public Security University building is grand yet serene looking.  The emblem on the upper middle part of the building is rather dark.  In the courts not far away, there are still students playing basketball.  The whole campus feels staid and tranquil.

Jin Xi observes the surroundings and becomes quiet.  Han Chen asks, “Do you remember anything?”

Jin Xi doesn’t remember anything from this place, but yet it feels familiar.

She answers, “It feels like I’ve been here in my past life.”

Before coming, Han Chen asked his supervisor to write a work invitation.  They obtained their approvals successfully so that they can enter the archives library right now.  They find a quiet reading spot and gather all the information of the criminal psychology ‘05 class.

Jin Xi flips open the records of the student names.  And Han Chen picks up a stack of student background information and starts reading.

Jin Xi reads the names row by row.

Very quickly, her eyes open wide and she goes back to the top of the list and reads through them again.

It’s still not there.

There isn’t the name “Su Mian” on the list.

She jerks her head up and looks at Han Chen.

Han Chen lowers the papers in his hand and looks at her.  His pupils are dark and black like ink.

Jin Xi asks, “Did you see it?”

“No,” he picks up another stack of information, “Let’s look again.”

Jin Xi nods, leans toward the table and continues flipping through the other records quickly.  But her heart feels heavier.

She has taken a look at the graduation photo, class activities records, the teacher’s work log, video recordings……and even the name lists of the professors and trainers from that year: Xue Wen Dong, Chen Jia Dong, Zhao Lan, Xu Mu Hua, Han Jiang……no matter where she looks, there isn’t one called “Su Mian” or any traces of its existence.

It’s the same over on Han Chen’s side.

It’s two hours later when they leave the archives library.  Han Chen is expressionless, but Jin Xi has her head down the whole time, looking depressed.  When they reach a quiet area with no one around, she turns around and looks at him, “How could this be?  Why aren’t I there?”

She never thought that there would be no findings after making the trip to the Public Security University.

Han Chen holds her hand with a solemn look on his face, “Having no findings is the biggest finding.  If Xin Jia’s words are the truth, in what circumstances would a student’s records at a police school who openly recruits talents would be completely erased?”


They find a hotel in the old city district near the Ministry of Public Security.  The night is approaching; the sun is on the horizon and darkness blankets the city, making it seem even colder.

Han Chen walks out of the shower and sees Jin Xi sitting on the side of the bed staring absentmindedly out the window.

It hurts Han Chen’s heart seeing her like this.  He walks over, hugs her from behind and starts kissing her, “I’ve asked someone to look into ‘Su Mian’s’ information from when she was in university.  Before we find out about everything, don’t think too much about it.”

But how can Jin Xi not think about it?  Everything has become so mysterious like there’s a fog surrounding her and she can’t even make out which direction she should take.  Her heart is heavy.  She pushes him away, “I want to go take a walk.  You rest first.”

Han Chen glances at her, grabs a long sleeve shirt and puts it on, “I’ll go with you.”

“No!” Jin Xi stuffs both of her hands in her pockets and walks quickly to the door, “Don’t follow me, okay.”  She doesn’t even know what her real identity is right now, so how could she fulfill the promise of a future with Han Chen?  Her feelings are too unsettling.  Therefore, she doesn’t want to stay with him; she wants to be by herself right now.

Han Chen doesn’t move.  He watches her leave.

There’s a small courtyard below the hotel with a few small trees, flowers, and grass planted.  Outside of the gate is a prosperous residential area.  Jin Xi walks aimlessly out of the front entrance.  She walks along the old streets, listening to the bells from bicycles, chatters from passersby, street food owners shouting, and she can smell the savory flavors coming from cooked dinners inside the houses.  Jin Xi seems as if she is slowly walking out of the dense fog and is living in reality again.

Her emotions are calmer now.

And then, she repents the way she treated Han Chen just now.

She smiles slightly and decides to return to the hotel to find him right away.

But she is stunned when she turns around and looks at the busy street and the buildings of uneven height.

Oh?  Where is she?


Han Chen has waited for over half an hour.  The sky is almost dark and she still hasn’t come back.  He puts on his jacket and is getting ready to go out to find her.

The streets in the area are safe, so he’s not too worried.  He’s just afraid that she has gone too far and that he won’t be able to find her back.  But right after he puts his phone in his pocket, it rings.  The nickname, “Wifey,” flashes on the screen.

He smiles slightly and picks up, “What’s up?”

Her voice sounds a bit pitiful, “Han Chen, I can’t find my way back.”

Han Chen giggles with his head down, “Stand there and don’t move.  Tell me what’s around you.  I’m come pick you up.”

Bai Jin Xi waits where she is for seven to eights minutes, and then she sees Han Chen come from one end of the street.  The sky is completely dark right now.  The street lamps illuminate his face.  He’s wearing a black windbreaker.  His figure is tall and straight.  His facial features are handsome like a painting.

Jin Xi stares at him and smiles.

His eyes also carry a hint of a smile.  He stops right in front of her with his hands in his pockets and stares at her.

“When you’re not in a good mood next time, try a different way to relieve yourself.  Taking a walk is too challenging.  It’s not suitable for you.”

Jin Xi bites on her lip and smiles, “F–k you!”  It has taken him only a few minutes to come, which means that she’s actually not far from the hotel.  Furthermore, he’s beside her now, so she won’t get lost anymore.  Therefore, she has the urge to talk back to him further.  She says boldly, “Just you wait.  Let me try one more time, I’ll definitely be able to find my way back.  Just tell me first which direction the hotel is in!”

Ten minutes later.

They’re at an intersection again.  Jin Xi turns around reluctantly and looks at Han Chen, trying to capture any hints from his expression.  But he’s such a bad man, isn’t he?  His eyes carry a faint smile as usual.  No matter which route she chooses, he keeps the exact same face.

Jin Xi grits her teeth and heads toward the right out of instinct.

Han Chen follows her unhurriedly.

They walk a little farther.  Jin Xi looks around at the unfamiliar buildings in front of her and is completely lost.  She knows very well that it’ll be a futile attempt if she continues.  She has no choice but to brace herself and turn around to ask him, “Hey, how much farther away are we from the hotel?  We’re going in the right direction, aren’t we?”

Han Chen looks down at his watch and answers, “Mm.  If we continue walking like this, we should be able to return to City Lan by next month.”

“……You’re so hateable!” Jin Xi glares at him.  She sits down on the curb, lets out a “hmph!” and decides to ignore him.

Han Chen sits down beside her.  He pulls her hand over and squeezes it slowly.

“People who are lost have a habit of making right turns.  Men have a tendency to go downhill, while women like to go uphill……”

Jin Xi is dumbstruck: ah?  She has never heard this saying before.  A thought springs to her mind.  Could Han Chen be giving her some tips and tricks when getting lost?  She’s worked up immediately.  She wraps her arm around his, “Continue, continue.”

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