Memory Lost (美人为馅): Chapter 89 8

Chapter 89: My Sorrow Part 3

Han Chen continues, “When running, people who are right-handed tend to make left turns and vice versa.  And our subconsciousness will choose the route that is most attractive to us——for example the scenery, a non-bumpy road, or……” he glances at her, “yummy foods on the street.”

Jin Xi is quite excited from listening to him.  Seeing that he has stopped, she asks, “It sounds deep.  So?  If I can grasp these tips and tricks, I’ll be able to overcome my weakness of always getting lost?”

“No,” he answers swiftly.

Jin Xi is a bit stunned, “Why did you tell me all of these then……”

Han Chen pats away the dust from his clothes and stands up, “No reason.  Direction idiots supposedly walk based on their intuition.  I’m fortunate to be able to see this in action today.”

Jin Xi grits her teeth, “……you…bastard!”


They find a random place and eat their dinners.  It’s already 7 to 8 pm when they get back to the hotel.

Although Jin Xi previously felt like a big rock was weighing down her heart, she’s an optimistic person nonetheless; she pushes her doubts aside once her mood has gotten better.  It’s like the saying, things will run its course.  She can feel that they are gradually getting closer to the truth.

The night is dense and the winds are strong.  They stay in the hotel for the rest of the night, tangled up with each other without restraint.  Jin Xi gradually lets go as she faces Han Chen, who continuously asks for more.  Both her emotions and body are aroused.  She is becoming more and more addicted to the thrill and the feeling of her heart throbbing from entangling with him.  Between the night and day, it feels as if there’s only the two of them sharing the sweetness of intimacy.  It’s enough to make her forget about everything and focus on only breathing and pulsing for him.

When they’re tired, they sleep embracing each other, or they rub their faces against each other giggling and kissing.  They pass the night intimately with touching emotions.

The next day.  Just as they are getting out of bed, someone knocks on the door.

Just to be on the safe side, Jin Xi hides in the room and peeks around the corner to see who it is.  It’s a man whom she doesn’t recognize.  He’s wearing a hat and he’s handing a stack of papers to Han Chen.  He gives Han Chen a pat on the shoulder and leaves.

Jin Xi knows that this must be the person whom Han Chen mentioned yesterday about asking for help to dig up information on Su Mian’s past.

She waits until Han Chen closes the door before walking out of the room feeling perplexed, “So how did it go?  Did you find anything?”

Han Chen stares at the information in his hand.  His pupils are pitch black.  After a while, he lifts his eyes to look at her and then hands her the information.

Jin Xi’s heart races as she flips through quickly.  This is probably the profile from the household registration department; they’re all standard forms.  The first section is her name:

Name: Su Mian; Birthdate: March 17, 1989;
Birthplace: Jiangcheng, Province K; Home Address: East District XX road, XX city.


Jin Xi’s heart is pounding.  A certain indescribable feeling seems to be surging up from the bottom of her heart.  Han Chen watches her face turn pale.  He walks over in silence, wraps his arm around her shoulders, and reads the information with her.

She continues reading:

September 1996——July 2002, studied at the second experimental elementary school in the East District.  Was the class representative, team leader, and a student who excelled in all three areas (manners, academics, and health).

September 2002——July 2008, studied at the 179 East District middle school.  Graduation results: top 10 of the same grade; a student who excelled in all three areas (manners, academics, and health).

And on the side of the form, there’s a 1 x 1-inch photo that goes along with each time period.  Her fingers are trembling slightly as she touches these yellowing photos.

A young girl who’s wearing a red scarf and an armband, and her hair in a ponytail;

A girl with short hair wearing a middle school uniform;

And an adolescent photo from an identification card after graduating from senior high school…

Despite the changes in her facial features from young till now, Su Mian’s face shape, her skin color, her features, and her demeanor is exactly the same as herself!  She’s even more like her than the “Bai Jin Xi” she saw in the photo at the Shahu police academy!  Now that she thinks more about it, “Bai Jin Xi” has a refined face shape, and her facial features are slightly different from hers.

She is completely stunned looking at her own photos.

“It’s me……” she murmurs, “She is me.”

Han Chen stares at the girl in the photo a bit startled.

She continues flipping through the pages, but they’re information about her other family members.

The man and woman in the photos are unfamiliar to her, but she can tell the resemblances between her facial features and theirs.  There are photos of them when they were young.  The man looks lively with a proper face and wide shoulders.  The woman’s hair is at shoulder length.  She looks elegant with a pair of dark brown eyes; rather similar to Su Mian.

The below is their background info:

Su Rui Cheng, male, born in 1962, birthplace: Beijing.

Profession: Police officer.  April 1997, died in the line of duty at age 35.

Zhao Lan Qing, female, born in 1965, birthplace: Jiangcheng, Province K.

Profession: elementary school teacher.  September 2010, died from illness at age 45.

Teardrops fall onto the papers as she reads these few lines.

“Han Chen……Han Chen……they are, my mom and dad……my dad was also a police officer……my mom……died in 2010, the year after I was in an accident……”

Han Chen embraces her, letting her lean against his chest, as he wipes away her tears.

“Stop crying, okay?”

She is the woman in his heart.  He can feel the same pain as she does.

But she cries harder.  She covers her face with her palms and weeps.

She has found her own mom and dad.

She must have loved them dearly in the past, otherwise, she wouldn’t be in so much pain right now.  These are her real parents; the ones who raised her and doted on her.  But when her mom died, she was living carefreely as Bai Jin Xi in Jiangcheng.  But did mom know where her own daughter was?  In her last moment before death, was she heartbroken because of her?

Why were they separated?  Why was she separated from those she loved?


She finally stops crying after a long while.  She peels off their photos from the page and puts them into her own wallet carefully.  She then looks up at Han Chen.  Her eyes are calm but carry a hint of coldness.

“This document contains info all the way up to 2008 when I graduated from senior high school, and then there’s no more.  There are no records on which college I went to.  Everything from after I turned 18 is missing.”

Han Chen nods and says in a cold voice, “There’s only one possibility.”

She bites on her lip, “But……if it was an undercover cop, they would usually pick someone who’s been in the police program for a few years, has practical experiences, and someone of a simple background.  I was still studying in college and a girl on top of that, so how would I be chosen as an undercover cop and had all my records at the police academy be erased?  And to be undercover for such a big case?  This doesn’t make sense.  And then how did I end up living as Bai Jin Xi?”

Han Chen keeps quiet for a moment before tightening his arms around her says softly, “This only means that——there are still some things that happened in the past that we don’t know yet.”

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