Li Chuan’s Past (沥川往事) : Side Story 4.3 13



Li Chuan came up to embrace me and comfort me in a low voice.

“Don’t be discouraged just yet. The test can be mistaken, only the result from a blood check can be believed.”

I looked at the “99.9% accuracy” written on the tester.

Li Chuan didn’t say anything else and drove me to the clinic. We were there too early and it hadn’t opened yet. We sat in the cafe outside and waited for an entire half an hour.

After they took my blood, Li Chuan took me to the closest French restaurant. I didn’t actually really like French cuisine. It’s not that it doesn’t taste good, it’s just that its portion is too small. I suspected that all the French chefs have taken taichi before. There was a large white plate with small pieces of fish on it, matched with various colors of soup, forming a very artistic shape. It was presented in a very special way and brought to the table. The taste wasn’t bad. It was just that I was still hungry afterwards and couldn’t help but use dessert to fill my stomach.

But French cuisine can consume time. Starters, soup, fish, grilled meat, salad, and dessert were all brought up. I forced down the sense of loss and impatience in me and maintained a calm demeanor while killing time with Li Chuan.

I even told three Chinese jokes to him.

Li Chuan didn’t really understand, so I explained each one to him in detail.

“Don’t worry, Xiao Qiu.” He held my hand, “In a bit let’s go check the news. Let’s see what places are encountering tornados, flooding, and earthquakes. Then we’ll go and adopt a few orphans and do a good thing.”
“Who said I was worried? I am prepared to fight a long war.”

After a day, the blood test results were out. I wasn’t pregnant.

Singh said that failure was very normal. After all, the success rate of IVF wasn’t even at 50%. Besides the nature of Li Chuan’s sperms weren’t that good. He suggested that we wait for a while, after our mental and physical states were better.

He didn’t recommend that I try again. It looks like Li Chuan gave him some pressure.

I shook my head, determined, “I’m not waiting. Let’s start the second chance, immediately.”
Singh looked at Li Chuan and said, “Your wife is very determined in her opinion.”
Li Chuan bitterly smiled, “That’s right, no one can change her decision. However, whatever my wife wants, she will get in the end.”

It wasn’t until the fourth time before I finally received news of being pregnant. At that time, Li Chuan has already started his second round of psychological treatments. The repeated loss was too much of a blow for him. And the fake smile and happiness act I put on after hearing about each loss caused more heartache for him. He started suffering from frequent insomnia, getting skin allergies, and becoming more reticent. Ji Chuan suspected that he had become clinically depressed and forced him to go see the doctor many times.

In actuality, Li Chuan’s psychological quality was very strong. Otherwise, he would have been crushed by cancer a long time ago. But, he was also an emotion filled person, good down to the core, and, especially, couldn’t stand his relatives undergo suffering. He would always put the blame on himself for everything and then immerse himself in restlessness and self blame. Ji Chuan and Rene started to take turns to convince me to give up on IVF, “You two can adopt a child. As many as you want. Li Chuan would definitely support you.”

I knew that they were worried about Li Chuan’s health and were afraid that he would not be able to take the failure of IVF and have his condition get worse.

Thus, I said, “How about this. I will announce to Li Chuan that I’m giving up IVF. And then the two of you will take him to play for two months in some other country.”
The two of them stared at me, as if I was insane, and quickly asked, “Then what about you? What do you plan to do?”
I crossed my arms, “Stay here, change to another clinic, and continue IVF. Just keep everything from him so that he won’t worry.”
“Xiao Qiu,” Ji Chuan was so angry, he was clenching his teeth, “you really just can’t change your mind?”
“I can’t.”
A person’s endurance was really flexible. Li Chuan was that nervous, but the person who was tormented from beginning to end was me. And I was numb to it.

Ji Chuan reluctantly agreed with my plan and found a project that will bring Li Chuan to Mexico for two months. And I proclaimed myself to be too unwell to acclimate to Mexico’s climate. Plus, I would rather stay home and wait for him than hold a translation book in my hand.

Rene quickly added that I had just finished IVF, needed more time to recover and wasn’t fit to bustle about on planes with Li Chuan.

Two months passed like this under this trick. When Li Chuan came home from Mexico, I happily reported to him, at the airport, the news of me being pregnant.
He had been running to the construction site every day and got so tanned that I barely recognized him. But this news gave him quite a shock. He was so excited that his face was red. He threw down his luggage and took me to the side to quietly ask me, “Xiao Qiu, you didn’t listen to me and went to do IVF?”
“That’s right, forgive me. Amen.”
“The doctor…what did he say?”
“I switched doctors. Everything is normal. Also, lower your ear a bit more.” I whisper, “It’s twins.”
“Really?” He pulled me into his arms, “My God! This must be a dream!”
“Of course, it isn’t!”

During the pregnancy, besides required pregnancy ketone injections for a while, blood and B ultrasound inspections are also required. Those who became pregnant through IVF don’t have too much of a difference with those who got pregnant naturally. During this time, we were worried about many things; worried about my health, about side effects of IVF, about miscarrying, about abnormalities with the fetus. But all the worries gradually faded away after all the hospital inspection results pointed to everything being fine. Like all expecting parents, we entered a period of excitement.

After eight weeks, when I left the IVF specialized clinic, I was switched over into the hands of a regular gynecologist.
“Li Chuan, I’m a normal expectant mother now.” I said excitedly, “I finally became a normal expecting mother!”
That’s right, at that very moment, I didn’t want anything else but to be a normal person, to have everything a normal person had.

We soon found out that it was a pair of girls and gave them the names An An (Calm) and Ning Ning (Peaceful).

Our greatest wish for our children after they are born is to be healthy and happy.

Li Chuan and I went to take a “How to be first time parents” class. This was a project provided for by the government. Together, with other expectant parents, we learned general knowledge about the delivery and newborn infants, and watched a delivery video. On the way home, I asked Li Chuan what he thought about it. Li Chuan said, “Hm, the process is quite bloody.”
“That’s true. Originally, I wasn’t scared, but now, I am a little.”
“Perhaps you want to consider a C-Section?” He suggested, “Considering this is your first time, and it’s twins.”
“I can go through normal labor. We must believe in the strength of nature!”
“Then, get anesthetic shots earlier? Otherwise, you will be screaming like the woman in the video.”
“No need for anesthesia. My (maternal) aunt said, there are side effects to anesthesia. It’s not good for the infants and the recovery process is slow.”
“Xiao Qiu, ever since you got IVF, do you think you have become more overbearing?”
“Hmph, I have all the rights to be overbearing! I succeeded!”
“Then can you let me drive, please? With such a large stomach, don’t you feel tired from driving?”
“No, I like driving. This car is big and driving it is very comfortable. Sit there like a good boy and rest.”
“You’ve really become a queen…”

Leave a Reply

13 thoughts on “Li Chuan’s Past (沥川往事) : Side Story 4.3