Memory Lost (美人为馅): Chapter 84 11

Chapter 84: My Beloved Part 2

In the bright light, the woman’s skin is soft and fair white, making him unable to move his eyes away.  Han Chen holds her back with both of his hands while locking her legs with his so that she can’t move.  He is gradually kissing harder and breathing quicker.

Both of Jin Xi’s hands are grabbing on the bed sheet.  The slightly cool air seems to make the skin on her back more sensitive.  His lips, tongue, breathing, and his fingertips ignite her senses.  She can also feel that he’s also trying to suppress himself like she is; they’re deeply attracted to each other’s body.

Finally, Han Chen releases her body and turns her around so that they face each other.

They’re both naked now.  Only their burning bodies are against each other.

Han Chen lifts up one of her legs and lowers his body.

He looks down at her with his blazing eyes.

“For our first time, I only want to use this position,” he says, “I want to let you see me and feel me clearly.  The one who possesses you has always been and still is me.”

Jin Xi is a bit stunned.  She suddenly wants to cry.  She holds it in, reaches out her arms and wraps them around him.


The sunlight peers through the horizon.

The morning of late autumn is bleak like a painting.  Outside the window, leaves fall from the trees as the wind blows through them.  The birds chirp on the branches as they look around naively.

Separated by many layers of curtains, the apartment inside is still burning hot.

Jin Xi feels as if she has entered a gentle and deep blue lake.  There are lights reflecting on its surface, and there are turbulent undercurrents and whirlpools.  And Han Chen is that lake, who’s embracing her deeply and encasing her.  He leads her through the great waves to the other shore, as well as taking her to dive into the beautiful lake bottom.  And she is the fish in the lake following him wherever he goes, following his rhythm in breathing, and following him when he trembles.

In the deep part of the lake, there is clearly a dazzling and pure white light attracting her.  She gradually becomes obsessed, letting herself sink, and be in a frenzy.  She hugs him hard and whimpers.

She lifts her head and sees his face clearly.  His body is drawn by the most beautiful curves.  His short black hair is becoming damp with sweat.  And his eyes are drowned with intoxication while suppressing his craze.

“Han Chen……Han Chen……” she calls his name softly.  Every time she calls out this familiar name, her heart pounds.

“Han Chen, I love you.”

Han Chen’s movement stutters.  His eyes are dark like the deepest end of the ocean, yet they possess the most brilliant and captivating shine.  He lowers himself to intertwine with her more intimately than before.

As she moans again, he whispers into her ear, “Let me finish it inside, okay?”

Despite Jin Xi’s mind is in a haze, she understands his words.  She shakes her head quickly, “No way!  What should we do if we end up with a baby?”

“If you get pregnant, then let’s have it,” he continues thrusting himself into her.  His voice is raspy and soft, “If we didn’t get separated, our kid would already be old enough to run errands (idiom).”

Even though he’s teasing her, Jin Xi’s heart feels a bit of sourness.  She remembers about their promise to get married after graduation which actually makes her feel a strong sense of impulse.

“Okay,” she answers softly, “Finish it inside.”

Han Chen tightens his hold on her hands, buries his head in her shoulder and becomes more violent and wild.


And it’s at the very end when Bai Jin Xi finally understands why he wants it this way.

It’s because this way, she can really feel his presence.  She can feel his existence, his trembles, and his possessiveness.

Both her body and her heart is embraced by him.  She now understands that this is the most ultimate way for him to portray his love to her.

“I love you,” he whispers into her ear, “For this life, Han Chen will never turn back on these words.”

Tears instantly begin to flow from her eyes.

This is his response to her.

She can finally tell today how much he loves her.

After a long while, he lets go and lies down beside her.  Although Jin Xi’s waist is sore, her heart is filled with sweetness and happiness.  She leans on his shoulder and doesn’t say a word.

After a while, she sees Han Chen covering his eyes with the back of his hand and starting laughing.

Jin Xi leans across his chest, “What are you laughing about?”

He moves his hand away and stares at her with his black pupils, “Nothing.  I’m laughing that it hasn’t been easy for it.”

Jin Xi is stunned.  She then realizes what the“it” is that he’s referring to, so her face flushes as she snaps back, “I don’t think so.  Look, it got two first times now, whereas other people usually only get one.  It clearly got lucky.”

Han Chen stares at her blushing face and feels the blood rushing to his chest.  He reaches out his hand and strokes her nose with his finger while answering, “Is that so?  It’s been five years.  Why do I feel like it missed out a thousand times.”

Jin Xi is speechless.  She pushes his chest away, “How could you count that many times!”

But he pulls her back into his embrace and says calmly, “I’ll go buy a whiteboard tomorrow and hang it in the bedroom.”

Jin Xi doesn’t understand, “What are we doing with a whiteboard?”

The corners of his mouth curve upwards, “Then I can draw tally marks on it every day.”

“……F–k you!”


The sky is brightly lit as the sun shines through the gap between the curtains.  Han Chen has gone to take a shower.  Bai Jin Xi puts on her clothes, opens the curtains and switches the lights off.  Her face shows a smile.

She is exhausted yet excited at the same time.  She lies on the bed on her stomach to wait for him but falls asleep.

She slowly wakes up after a while.  The moment she opens her eyes, she sees that Han Chen has already come out of the shower.  He’s not in the room though; he’s standing in front of the window in the living room.  He’s not wearing a shirt and only has a towel around his waist.  His long and slender body is well defined like a statue as it casts a long shadow on the hardwood floor.  She wonders what he’s thinking about.

Jin Xi slides off the bed, walks softly over, and hugs him from behind.  He shifts his gaze sideways and grabs onto both of her hands.

“I need to tell you something,” she buries her head in his back, “That necklace pendant has already been cut apart by a colleague in the forensic department.  The words engraved on it are: ‘s&hmyheart.’”

Han Chen freezes.  His eyes are dark and hard to read.

“And I had a dream.  In it, you didn’t call me Bai Jin Xi.  You called me Su Mian.  It’s the same ‘Su’ as Su Shi (Chinese writer’s name), and ‘Mian’ as in deep sleep.”

Han Chen turns around immediately and stares at her.

Jin Xi presses her lips together and reveals a faint smile, “Right now, I don’t know where my real family is or what my real identity is either.  And if I’m not Bai Jin Xi, where has the real one gone to?  Who is it that has created all this……”

Before she finishes, Han Chen pulls her into his embraces, making her lean against his chest.

“Jin Xi, have you ever thought about it?  The person eavesdropping outside of the meeting room, the attacker at Shao Lun’s home, and the person who killed Xin Jia yesterday, what do their sudden appearance mean?”

Jin Xi looks up at him, “What does it mean?”

“It means that they’re panicking.  It means that they’re very afraid.  They’re afraid of us getting back together again and investigating the truth about the past,” he says slowly.

Jin Xi is stunned.

After a second, she grins and nods, “Okay, I get it now.”

Han Chen looks at her.  Her skin is pure and fair white like the snow.  Her eyes are sparkling like the stars.  She is beautiful and captivating as always, yet she has clear determination.  He lowers his head and kisses her again.

As they kiss, he carries her off the ground again and walks towards the bedroom.

Jin Xi mumbles her complaint as their lips are still locking with each other, “What are you trying to do?  Have you not had enough?”

He flips over to lie on top of her, “No.”

The day is long, and the night is young.

This man is deeply in love with you wholeheartedly.

How much more do they have to caress and embrace each other to let him feel satisfied?

Leave a Reply

11 thoughts on “Memory Lost (美人为馅): Chapter 84